It’s common knowledge that most ladies can’t hold their booze as well as their gentlemen counterparts. This has nothing to do with determination or skill and everything to do with body size. Obviously there will be bigger girls or those who drink a little more often who are able to drink some of their male buddies under the table, but not often. Feminism aside, when a guy and girl are both downing half a dozen tequila shots in an hour, the girl will often wind up on the floor first. And since St. Patrick’s Day is upon us once again, it is time we all remember just how easy it is to be green.
St. Patrick’s Day is one of those times when it’s perfectly acceptable to start drinking as soon as the sun comes up. This means it’s a pretty good idea to get some breakfast in your stomach too, since chances are you’re going to be doing more drinking instead of eating as the day goes on. Smart women will time their day drinking so that they get at least one good recovery nap in there someplace, not to mention a few breaks for greasy sustenance like pizza, nachos and fries. Trust me, foods like Chinese or soups are not the things you want coating your stomach on a day like this. The right meals combined with the right napping times will not only prevent you from having a hangover by noon, it will also allow you to split your St Patty’s Day shenanigans up so you can enjoy the best of what both the morning and the evening have to offer.
You may be feeling cocky while reading this and wondering why you should have to worry about any of it. After all, you just want to have a good time! Well, waking up the next morning to realize that you passed out before the parties really even got started is a pretty crappy way to cap off the holiday. And that’s if you’re lucky. If you’re unlucky, you spent the evening in a blackout haze doing things that would embarrass your mother yet make for a truly entertaining Twitter live feed. Chances are some of your finer moments made their way online so you’ll spend your day huddled on the bathroom floor, furiously untagging yourself and trying to apologize to your friends for whatever you may have said or done. You may be able to delete the photos where you’re as green as a leprechaun and throwing up the measly yogurt you had for breakfast but that’s a pretty crappy way to cap off the holiday too.
The best way to avoid all of the awkward, dramatic moments you can’t remember is to prepare and pace yourself. You have to tackle St. Patrick’s Day as you would a race – it’s a marathon and not a sprint, and no one wants to be sick on the sidelines halfway through the big day. You want to be able to have fun and actually remember having fun, after all. So act like a grown ass woman and show the world that you know how to handle your booze. Then you can spend the next day laughing at everyone else’s embarrassing Facebook antics!