The selfie. It’s a new term to describe an aged practice that’s been around since cameras were first invented. Most of the selfies we see gracing social networking sites today aren’t what you would all artistic or tasteful and many of them are just downright shameful. It’s those that you have to watch out for because when you’re in the midst of an album full of your own conceit, it’s easy to forget how quickly it can all turn downright awkward.
Selfies became popular with digital cameras and all the rage with camera phones. New technology allowed anyone who was in any way vain, conceited or self-involved to hole up in rooms for hours until they produced that perfect profile picture. But now that we have Snapchat, Instagram and everything else, we have the ability to not only take profile pictures but also tons of other random shots and then instantly share them online for the whole world to see. Some of them are truly awesome, such as photos in space by astronauts or those taken high in the sky by different types of pilots. Then we have those that are just pretty damn cool, like the one seen round the world that Ellen took at the Oscars. If you can get that many movies stars in one quick photo, why the hell wouldn’t you? So obviously there are many good kinds of selfies, but for every one of those there are about 10 bad ones. Such as the bathroom selfie.
Whoever first thought of the idea of posing for publically shared photos on toilets should really be banished to the sewer. Sure, some people get into that sort of thing but it’s not a super common kink and forcing everyone in your social network to sit through your squat session is downright disgusting. Same goes for selfies people take in mirrors in various sex acts. What would your grandmother say? Unless you’re being paid good money to show your naked bits (or you look exactly like one of those movie starts from the Oscars – and you probably don’t), please keep all of yourself to yourself. It’s also not a good idea to take selfies at concerts, sporting events, amusement parks or other similarly fun places after you call in sick to work or school. It’s amazing how many people play hooky and then post proof of their lies all over the internet. Save those pictures for your own private albums, unless you want a stupid reason to get yourself busted.
You would think that most people use common sense when taking pictures and posting them online, but most people are apparently idiots. If you’re not comfortable with your boss, mom or potential child seeing those photos one day in the future then maybe you should reconsider where and when you post them. Consider your future self too and think about how stupid you already feel for following fads such as MySpace and JNCO Jeans. Now think about how you’re going to feel when you’re middle-aged and still stumbling across that photo of yourself on a toilet that can’t seem to be flushed off the internet. It’s not a pretty sight and there are more than enough crying selfies that will prove it.